I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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