i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
