it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
