So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
