I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
