Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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