I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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