When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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