go do what you do best...puke behind churches
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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