Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
