You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
