i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
