It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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