When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
