:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have post one night stand depression
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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