y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
