Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
