I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
