I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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