party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
