so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
