You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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