insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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