I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
