this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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