i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
