my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
