I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
