I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
