I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
