o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
