I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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