are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
