on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
