She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
