So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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