Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
