did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I look better un-naked...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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