at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
