help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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