I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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