real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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