Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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