I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
