Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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