The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm passing your future prison.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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