It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
