It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
