I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
