Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize