All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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